Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Still dying that you shit outside
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize