When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
