i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
