I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
