every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
