can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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