she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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