In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
