do herpes really smell.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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