Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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