On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
