I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
