he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize