One girl and one boy is just not enough.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
