Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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