Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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