Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
