I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
