Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Tell her she can't have a vagina
vagina is talking i cant
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
