Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Randomize
