I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
you will always have a special place in my vag
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
