He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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