i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
