"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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