Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
