why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
