A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
that is very illegal...i love you.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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