we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
