I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
