and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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