I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
