omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
My vagina just recognized that song.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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