He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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