Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
