whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
