Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
and eventually we just all took our pants off
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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