Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
