Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
