I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Randomize
