____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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