Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize