Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
our cab driver is having phone sex.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
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