i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
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