Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
