i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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