it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
you never un-have a 4some
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
