i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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