it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
