Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
