wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
