Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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