Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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