We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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