I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
