You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
