Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
