Sponge bath it is.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
