just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
