Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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