there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
