fuck your aforementioned shoe
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
So I just went to clothing optional bar
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
