ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
